The Sky Guy/Transcript
yawns Wow! Sylvia, there's a whole little planet in here full of these little itty-bitty Bitties. Wander, put that down before he sees you! You dare touch the stuff of the mighty wizard Neckbeard, the all-knowing naysayer. coughs Sorry, sorry. He was just making sure no one else touches it. And now, he's putting it back, right, Wander? sighs Look, I'm like the most laid-back guy there is. But this is my shop full of rare and dangerous magic items too complex for your tiny minds to comprehend. So if you don't wanna unleash the wrath of the greatest wizard in the universe, you gotta treat my word as law. Law one: no touching! Especially not my orb. Feel me, muchacho? Sorry, O'Great Neckbeard. It won't happen again. So you want me to help you find something - to deal with this "Dominator" lady? - Yes! We heard you have an item of great power that can zap her as far away from this galaxy as possible. - Is that right? - No. I have something that will translocate her as far away as possible, but "zapping," I have no idea what that is. Okay. We heard you have an item that can "translocate" her as far away as possible. Please, O'Mighty Neckbeard, you're our only hope. long groan Fine. Follow me. Translocate you into the next dimension, you big Wander, no! Even if he is being a real jerk, this guy may have the only thing that can help us. So stay put, don't question him, and stay out of his business. What bad can come from learning about these little guys? I mean, the more you know, the more you grow. No. No knowin', no growin', or we'll be throwin' outta here, and Dominator will be blowin' our galaxy to bits. Well, your point did rhyme, so okay. Oh, what could one little eyeball in somebody else's business hurt? gasps Look at all those little Bitties on their itty-bitty world leading their itty-bitty Bitty lives. Why, it's Billy Bitty. He's lost his entire family. Oh, no. Will he have to scour the universe leaving no stone oh no, there they are. It's Billy's wife Betty, kissing him sweetly on his way to work. Meanwhile, Betty meets her sister-in-law Beatrice a professional masseuse who's unlucky in love. Unbeknownst to Beatrice, her true love Benedict is on the opposite side of town, searching for something to fill the Beatrice-sized hole in his heart. If only they could find each other. But I promised not to mess with 'em. Whoops. squealing Romance is in the air. What was that? Banjo, huh? humming Yeah, well, I play the Theremin. screams Oh, no! Oh, yeah, Theremins are super complicated. When people hear I play, they're all, like, "No way! That's too hard. " But then I show them, and they're, like, "Stop. Stop being a wizard immediately, and be a pro musician. " And I'm all, "Thanks, but I'm killing it in the magic biz. " Hey, speaking of magic, do you have any idea where to find this zapping I mean, this translocating device? Because we know your time is so very valuable, and we are ashamed to waste even a second of it. Do not question my methods, lady! I am Neckbeard, the all-knowing naysayer, and my methods shall be revealed when I see fit! sighs I think it's over here. screaming Whew! You're safe. Oh, uh hi. Uh, folks call me screaming stammering Hushy-hush, hushy-hush. Don't be in such a crushy-rush. Just hushy-hush, hushy-hush, and fussy won't make such a fuss. That was a close one. Phew! ALL: Phew! Whoa! Whoa!! That's amazing. Amazing! Yep a dip dip, bip a ditty yip repeating laughter louder NECKBEARD: What's so funny?! I'm just thinking how foolish and lame we are compared to you. Huh, yeah. That's pretty hilarious. Oh, wow! A statue for me of me? I'm so flattered. Oh, a bigger statue? Thank you. And you learned to dance, too? I told Sylvia nothing bad would happen. See, the more you know, the more you screaming Oh, no! No, no, no. No, no, no, no. - Ye no. - Please, we really need something. Anything to stop Dominator. - Now - Which is it, stop Dominator or get rid of Dominator? Because those are two different things. Sounds like you need an ultimate weapon. A stick? music A bow staff. In the proper hands, it's the deadliest weapon growling but you wouldn't know anything Zapping device what, where, how?! Translocate. grunts Okay, okay. Oblivion mirror. It'll magically transport anything to the farthest regions of the universe, never to return, but it only works once, so you gotta be careful. Finally. Things are lookin' up. shrieking Empathy, not enemies! Please there's plenty more impressive things in the galaxy to be into than little ol' me. There's supernovas and meteor showers and puppies and banjos and best friends and triple pickle pie and Do you have any idea what you've done? screaming These guys were mint in box. They aren't ready to understand a bigger universe. - They've already seen too much. - That's crazy. The more you know, the more you grow. Wrong, 'cause nobody knows more than me. And what they don't know won't hurt them. Here. Oblivion mirror. Use this on Dominator to send her wherever you want. Now get outta here! You mean it was right there the whole Oh, never mind. I thought we'd never get outta here. But Sylvia, the Bitties. Buddy, I know, but we've got bigger problems than those small fries. If we don't stop Dominator, there may be no galaxy. Besides, aren't they better off not knowing about all the horrible stuff that's out there? - No. - Good. Wait, what?! Hey, nay! I say nay! screaming NECKBEARD: Magic. Magic, magic, magic, magic! Magic, magic, magic, magic. Magic! Just because you act like you know everything - doesn't mean you do. - Magic! You can't keep other people in the dark just to make yourself seem smart. Magic, magic, magic. Magic, magic. Magic! Magic! Magic! Wow! growling voice Magic!! - Hey! - Ha! I have what you want, you have what I want. Unwinnable situation. - Now give me the orb. - Wander, we need that mirror. But Sylvia, everybody deserves a chance to try and understand the universe. squeaking Sorry, buddy. Say good-bye to your Bitties. 'Cause they're goin' on a long trip! Yo, know-it-all. Catch! Not in the face, not in the face! Noooo! Not cool. They're too small and stupid to survive out there in the universe. They're too primitive. They're squeaking totally fine? Sylvia, that mirror only had one use. - We won't be able to send Dominator away. - Good. That'll give the Bitties a fresh new galaxy to explore where nobody else can mess with 'em. And I'm sure, if we keep exploring, we'll figure something else out, too. After all, the more you know, the more you grow, right? You are totally gonna pay for that. That'll be 17. 50 for the mirror and 37. 99 for the orb. music That's amazing! Amazing! playing exclaiming Category:Transcripts